Is time a healer for grief … can we overcome the cards we are dealt …

Yes, and why, well in a few days, that significant date for me comes around again, the 21st September.

Rewind to five years ago today, I lost my best friend, my mother to the Big C.  A short battle to this awful disease and I was so lucky to be in a position, that I could be her carerer and go on the journey but it was a loss.  I miss her and hope that I can make her proud and I often hear myself say ‘I am my mother’s daughter’.

Five years ago suddenly, I was without parents but what I did gain, was my ‘freedom’, I could be myself and for that I am grateful.

Then four years ago today, I went to the Rug Company Party and met my soul mate, Hubert Phipps. 

The Rug Company Party … Chelsea Focus

In reality it wasn’t when I met him, as I had in fact known him for over 40 years.  In fact, my mother had spent many years trying to set him up with girls but never did she think ‘me’.  Well, I have not looked back on the last four years and I hope that I will have many more years ahead.

My man aka Hubert Phipps

Then, three years ago today, I celebrated the end of my own treatment on my own Big C journey.  This came out of the blue and just 8 weeks after getting together with Hubert and I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him and my amazing friends, especially my hospital companion, Anoushka Faisca.

After my chemo still had radiotherapy and jabs but the hardest part was over

In the last five years, I have realised that you have to live in the moment and that saying I lived by ‘saving for a rainy day’ needed to be parked.   Firstly, I had to have a change of career and no longer plan weddings as too much stress and now loving doing consultancy in a ‘team’, within charities doing events and fundraising.   I have Pamela Deakin and Henny Cochrane to thank for their support and keeping me busy, so thank you.

Grief is something that can hit you at any point and the reality that you have had a near death experience if you can call it that, is something you need to process and each day is different.   I still blame my lack of concentration to do my filing at home as ‘chemo brain’, not sure how long I can milk that one for though?    I know that I am in a great space now and I believe that through my voluntary work at Maggie’s and the Royal Marsden Chelsea that I have learnt to talk, listen and support.

Why, am I writing this blog, well I wanted to share where I have come and that over the past five years I have achieved a lot and sharing can give people encouragement to continue to strive.   I have overcome my fear of water and learnt to snorkel, maybe not a big deal to many of you, but a huge achievement.

About sjdeventsltd

Owner of SJP Consultancy, specialising in offering, flexible services for all types of events, including fundraising projects in the charity sector.
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