Revd Giles Fraser the Canon Chancellor of St Paul’s on BBC Radio Four, ‘Thought of the Day’ on Wednesday 5th August commented ‘Modern Weddings have lost their way … The Ceremony is now all about ‘me’ and being a princess for a day’ Do you believe that the media of today have caused weddings to escalate in cost?

I can’t disagree or agree with Revd Giles Fraser as I would put myself out of a job as a wedding planner, however I believe that in some cases the religious part of the wedding in a church is not taken as seriously as it could be by couples.

Over the past four years since I set up SJD Events Limited, I do believe that some of the churches have become more relaxed in their approach of allowing couples to marry in church whereas in the past the only option if you were not religious would have been a civil ceremony.

I don’t get involved with this element of the wedding planning other than pointing out that choosing a church wedding is not just about turning up on the day.  I explain to couples that they will have to commit to going to church for at least six months prior and be seen to make a contribution to the community and it doesn’t just stop after the wedding however in many cases it does.

I personally don’t go to church as regularly as maybe I should but, when I do go I feel good and slightly uplifted.  When I do a wedding in the church I am touched by the Vicar’s address and realise that is what makes the ceremony so special.   I am not saying that couples who have a civil ceremony isn’t moving as this is certainly not the case and some of the readings chosen by people are as moving.   However, I would find it hypocritical for someone who never goes to church and doesn’t believe in God to want the church look.

The other comment by Revd Giles Fraser was about the escalating costs of weddings with the average wedding costing £20,000 and to attend in the region of £500.   I believe people will put all their savings into their wedding, as it is a ‘dream’ day, once in a lifetime we hope.    So, if someone has always dreamed of Jimmy Choo’s and arriving in a horse and carriage then this is fine and as a wedding Planner everyone has ‘dreams’ and it is my job to make them a reality within the budget they have.

Money as we know doesn’t buy happiness and it is the same when it comes to a wedding. You don’t need to throw money at a wedding to make it one better than a sibling or friends.   I always tell my couples that their wedding must reflect their personalities and that they both need to feel comfortable throughout.

Celebrities get married and have coverage on TV and the glossies but don’t be fouled they are not paying.

So, my tip to all couples would be as Andrew Peach of BBC Berkshire said to me on Friday 7th August on his show and I often say to my couples, if you have a budget stick to it, as it’s like buying a house you have a budget and then you negotiate.  However we all know when you tell an estate agent you have £150,000 you can guarantee they will show you something for £170,000!  

Stick within your means and you will have a ‘Big Day to Remember’.

About sjdeventsltd

Owner of a Consultancy Company, specialising in offering flexible services for all types of events, including fundraising projects in the charity sector.
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